Tell us about your daughter’s travel plans

Q. My ex moved 9 months ago. He has no furniture in the apartment, he only has a TV in the living room and a bed in his bedroom. I told him I should take a break and postpone the weekends with our daughters, 6 and 8, until he gets the furniture. He refuses! Will they intervene if I call child protection services? What is a good label?

A. Good etiquette works with your child’s father, so that he can continue to see the daughter regularly without trying to penalize him for not having the lifestyle you approve of. I can do it. If we’re based on a decision of what’s best for our kids, it’s to be with our dad – it doesn’t really make a difference to have a couch while you’re doing it.

When this happens, parents are forced to be creative in maintaining relationships with their children. Here are some examples that my clients are thinking of ready to use …

A father who had no furniture turned the weekend into movie night with his kids. They rented movies, bought pizza, bought popcorn, camped in front of the TV, and crashed with pillows and blankets. It was every Saturday and Sunday. The kids loved it. They didn’t bother having a bed to sleep on. They had a father.

Another relative lost his job and lived in an RV while looking for a job. His son just thought he went camping with his dad every two weeks. They will go to different places, adventure, camp and fishing. They did it until dad found a new job and rented an apartment. The main goal that I have always admired was not to disturb the time that my father and my son spent together because of the difficult times they went through. And best of all, the mother of the child helped the father continue to see the child. Young children do not really understand what “unemployment” means. They understand when they can’t see you. Both mom and dad felt consistency was paramount.

We all want our kids to have their own bedroom, beds and lots of toys, but sometimes that’s not possible. Will the CPS intervene in any of the above cases? I doubt. It is my experience that CPS operates without water, electricity and food. However, if the kids are safe, clean, and well fed, I don’t think CPS will be involved. Parents who do not approve of other parents’ way of life when their children are safe, clean and well nourished? We talk at night on weekends. It didn’t even interfere with their schooling.

Finally, to consider calling the CPS is a danger signal to me. Call yourself instead. Talk to him about his projects, especially if it is a temporary project, giving priority to the child (good etiquette rule for parents n ° 1). This is the right label.

Dr Jann Blackstone is the author of “Old Etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After Divorce or Separation” and the founder of Bonus Family at

Tell us about your daughter’s travel plans

Tell us about your daughter’s travel plans

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